Sunday, June 04, 2006

Stephen Colbert at his truthiest:

"All the Nebraska legislators are saying is, 'We don't see whites, blacks, and hispanics.  We see children, who would be a lot happier sticking with their own kind.' These districts will still be equal, just separate. This takes courage. Being the first legislature to re-divide races in the face of opposition could well make them the Rosa Parks of re-segregation."

On the series finale of the West Wing: "Good riddance. When the series started out with Martin Sheen playing recently-elected president Josiah Bartlett-- a democrat--I thought, great, more of the what-if-the-Nazis-had-won-World-War-II alternate-history bullcrap. But apparently, there were enough embittered, patchouli-smoking Gore-voters tuning in to keep the show afloat year after year."

On Hitler's approval rating: "99% thought he was on the right track. And today, there's one thing everyone, Democrat or Republican, left or right, agrees about: there's no one worse than Hitler.  And with his approval ratings at a new low, President Bush is just proving, once and for all, that he's the president least like Hitler."

"Hey, news flash-- it's springtime. Things melt, seasons change. It's called the circle of life-- and it's huge over in Africa. If a young lion prince can learn it, why can't Al Gore? It's another blame-humans-first propaganda piece. I always suspected that guy was half-fern."